Five Miles Out

What elation

In sport there can be moments of utter ecstasy. Those instants which are the difference between victory and defeat and if your team is on the winning side can make you punch the air in exhilaration. I already covered one of those from Superbowl XXIII when Joe Montana led the 49ers on a final winning drive of almost perfect majesty (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/06/22/sunshine-in-san-francisco/ ).

In 2019 England hosted the cricket world cup. 44 years after the competition started England had never won, despite the tournament being held here five times and being runners up in 1979, 1987 and 1991. Since 1991 our record was terrible, England had not adapted to the new ways one-day cricket was played. In England there was still a need to build a score as conditions early in an innings could be tricky. In international cricket the key to success was to attack from the start.

England planned and with Eoin Morgan as captain and changed the way that they played with attacking openers and a host of middle order bashers. England looked invincible until they hit a late tournament hiccup and lost twice to Australia and Sri Lanka. They recovered and made the knockout stages, steam-rollering Australia in the semi-final.

After all this practice at the modern way of playing the final was on a slow pitch. New Zealand’s 241 for 6 was a relatively low score for a modern one day international. England’s attacking line up was not necessarily the best suited for a match on this kind of pitch. Wickets fell at regular intervals and England were only 86 for 4 at the halfway point. A century stand from Ben Stokes and Jos Buttler kept England in the game, but it still required a Herculean effort from Ben Stokes (and outrageous good fortune when the ball deflected off Stokes bat as it was thrown in for a boundary) to drag England level at the end.

That meant there had to be a super over tiebreaker. England got 15 and Jofra Archer, who had only debuted for England a few months earlier, bowled it. New Zealand had to score 16 to win – 15 would give England the win on boundary count. New Zealand needed 2 off the last ball and Martin Guptill hit it to Jason Roy in the deep. They tried to run two and Roy hurled the ball into wicketkeeper Jos Buttler, who ran him out to send Lords and the UK wild.

Kaine Williamson, the New Zealand captain, took this wafer thin defeat with the most amazing good grace. If England had not been in the final I would have wanted them to win.

(Jos Buttler breaks the stumps to end England’s cricket world cup jinx)

The same summer in the Ashes test at Headingley England had to win the game to stay in the series. A terrible first innings left them going into day 4 needing 203 to win with 7 wickets left. At one stage it looked like Ben Stokes and Johnny Bairstow would make the runs until England lost 5 wickets for 48 runs and needed 73 runs with only Stokes and last man Jack Leach at the crease.

By the is stage Stokes was in the groove. Australia wasted their last video review, missed a run out and dropped a catch. The wasted review was crucial as Stokes was palpably out, but not given by the umpire one run from victory, so Australia could not review it. Leach made one run – that tied the scores before Stokes hit the winning 4 for an unlikely victory. It was England’s highest ever fourth wicket run chase in tests and Stokes batted beautifully.

(Ben Stokes and Jack Leach end an unlikely last wicket stand to seal a historic victory at Headingley)

Then there are the moments of elation when you glory in a team you hate losing. I hate Manchester United- all though the 70s and 80s the fans of the team claimed to be a big team while winning only a few knockout cups. I was happy when Leeds United won the last first division title and it looked like Manchester United were chokers. Sadly, Alex Ferguson then led the team on twenty years of winning – ending with them the most successful English team ever (at that point in time https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/12/04/go-your-own-way/ ), though that is no longer the case. I saw John Hawkins with the widest grin ever when they won the Champions League final with two very injury time goals in 1999.

In 2011/12 Manchester United and Manchester City went into the last game of the season level on points, but Manchester City ahead on goal difference (mainly thanks to thrashing United 6-1 at Old Trafford). United beat Sunderland 1-0 meaning that City had to beat QPR at home to be champions for the first time since the takeover by the UAE had made them a powerhouse of the game.

QPR went down to ten men in the second half due to Joey Barton being sent off, yet City went behind. They flowed forwards in blue waves, but at the end of normal time they were still behind. United’s game ended and the fans and players waited for the result from Manchester. In injury time Edin Dzeko nodded in a corner (their 17^th in a row) but they had to win the game, not draw. Four minutes into injury time the ball was played across the penalty area and Mario Balotelli managed to pass it on while falling over; a jink from Sergio Aguero and a goal sent the stadium crazy. City were champions and the pictures of the United fans and players at the Stadium of Light were even better for United haters like me. Even better if they had only lost 2-1 to City instead of 6-1 the title would have gone to a playoff.

Alex Ferguson made his players keep applauding their fans – classy. United won the title the following year and Ferguson retired. United have not been the same since, the team had needed major surgery. Ferguson had rebuilt the team several times – if they had won the title in 2011/12 maybe he would have started that process rather than betting all on deposing their local rivals. On the other hand the takeover of the club by the Glaser family using the club’s own resources and piling it up with debt, if the money that went out on loan payments and remuneration was used on players – that could have been a lot of signings. Ferguson could have rebuilt the team rather than it just being his talent that got the best out of a group of players.

(Sergio Aguero sends the Blue half of Manchester and all the United haters into the throes of ecstasy).

I was ecstatic and even United fans must acknowledge the injury time goals mirror their Champions League victory game.

The Beach Boys – a sound of summer since the early 60s – their music is uplifting and Brian Wilson is obviously a genius.

Good Vibrations

Playlist:

Surfin’ Safari
Surfin’ USA
Little Deuce Coupe
Fun, Fun, Fun
I Get Around
(When I Grow Up) To Be A Man
Help Me Rhonda
California Girls
Wouldn’t It Be Nice
Sloop John B
God Only Knows
Caroline No
Heroes and Villains
Good Vibrations
Darlin’
I Can Hear Music
Disney Girls (1957)
Surf’s Up
Kokomo

I’ll stand beside you in the rain

In 1983 I applied for university via UCCA (UCCA was for universities, it was PCAS for polytechnics, now they are merged as UCAS) which was pretty nerve wracking. I had been fascinated by Cambridge ever since I went there as a child, so it had to be top of my list, otherwise they rejected you out of hand. I did not expect to go there so I put Bristol and Bath on my list as real first choices (I did not realise that the two of them had a similar rivalry and put Bristol higher, so Bath rejected me out of hand). My real backup options were Sussex and Sheffield (the latter because I could do some astronomy there). Sheffield made me an offer without an interview which meant that I had three to visit.

Dad was wonderful and took me to each, as trying to get to these places from Brightlingsea would have been horrible on the train and we had some early starts. The first was Cambridge as Oxbridge decides earlier than the other universities. It was a big deal for me and the school, so I was nervous as I turned up at St Catherine’s in late September. I had no idea what I was getting in to – the only preparation I had been given was being told to read a newspaper and give full answers (these days we mock interview students, especially those trying for Russell group places).

We were early, Cambridge was the closest of the three and we had a cup of tea opposite the College in the famous Fitzbillies. The interview with Dr Barron was excruciating, but I must have done something right or, more likely, he made allowances for me coming from a school with no Oxbridge history – there was no formal issue with state under representation in those days, it was just accepted as a fact of life that public school boys (and it was mostly boys) would be way over represented.

The simplest way to ensure fairness at Oxbridge would be to make the admissions in the same proportion as public school and state school numbers. It is the rich that go to public school, not the clever. The rich are using their wealth to provide better education and chances for their offspring. I would also legislate that public school students would pay their public-school fees as their university fees to reflect their wealth.

I really liked Sussex – it is a campus university and was a lot more friendly and helpful than Cambridge. My sister, Frances, went there.

(Campus at university of Sussex)

Bristol had its interview on its open day and was very academically focused. It was not a campus university and I preferred Sussex. It was recommended that you have a main offer and a backup for university entrance. I argued that Cambridge was my main offer and as Bristol wanted ABB in A level results it was not a good backup. I was kind of overruled. Well Bristol ended up as my second offer.

(University of Bristol physics department)

There were quite a few songs that were playing on Radio 1 on those long car journeys. Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder another was Hyperactive by Thomas Dolby. Thomas Dolby never really had the success that he deserved. This song was never a hit and I am not sure why it was not – it is a beautiful piece, and the lyrics evoke that childhood joy at pretend. It even had a sequel years later called Eastern Bloc, with reality intruding on that childhood friendship.

A synthpop classic.

Europa and the Pirate Twins

And possibly the complications

Australia meant little in the UK in the early 80s. First came Men At Work with their clever comedy song Down Under containing its stereotypical view of Australian life. Then came the soap operas Neighbours and Home and Away.

(Early Neighbours cast including Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan and Jim Dale who would all go onto to international success)

The BBC bought Neighbours to fill holes in its daytime TV schedule – Breakfast TV (a new thing then) really meant you had to fill the whole day. Originally it was shown around 9.30am and 1.45pm (after the lunch news). I found out about when one of my friends at university, Gary Hibbard, watched it. Gary loved soap operas (proving categorically that being accepted to Cambridge does not mean that you have any taste). Initially he thought that it was odd as he watched it on Mondays and Fridays and the plot from Friday led straight into Monday but then there would be a jump to Friday. It was on everyday, but he was in lectures on the other days, so it was not advanced storytelling as he claimed.

It was successful and the two slots were changed to lunch and pre The Six O’Clock News, just after children’s TV, which garnered an even bigger audience. More and more Australian TV was bought up as it was relatively cheap and in English – Prisoner Cell Block H on late night TV, The Henderson Kids on Sunday morning’s.

(Will, Neil, Jay and Simon)

The Inbetweeners arrived in 2008. A conscious attempt to do something about teenagers that was not as glamourous as Skins, about the kids who were not the popular ones and not the geeks. It was a slow burn, I picked up the first series on DVD for a couple of quid on impulse one Sunday morning at Sainsbury’s. Apparently something similar happened to a LOT of people. I watched it and laughed so much at episode 2 when Simon threw up on Carly’s brother that my ribs hurt. Then the same thing happened with the third episode at Thorpe Park. That is the episode where Simon passes his driving test, breaks up a funeral cortege, Neil walks around in speedos and they go on Nemesis.

It ran for three series, but the same problem happened that always happens when young roles are played by people older than the characters, very quickly it becomes apparent that they are too old (none quite as bad as Charisma Carpenter, at 27, being cast as a 16-year-old in Buffy the Vampire Slayer or a 30-year-old Gabrielle Carteris as a 16-year-old in Beverly Hills 90210).

There was money in the franchise though. The first film sent them to Malia and, unlike many of the 70s films that spun off TV series, was really good. Even though to save money they did not shoot most of it in Malia (I’ve been there twice). A typical destination for the teenage rite of passage on leaving school. The second film was uncertain for a while. It starts with Simon and Will at university and a Harry Potter scene that is brilliant then takes them to the typical university backpacker destination – Australia.

By this time Australia is rooted in the British psyche as somewhere exotic to go and it is only New Zealand that is perceived as the end of the world (a perception that would change with Jacinda Ardern’s handling of COVID-19). It is normal to go there and explore – almost the second rite of passage for British youth. Australia is the glamourous, open space on the other side of the world, that is close to us due to our common TV shows.

(The scenes in the water park are pure gold).

(Simon, Will, Jay and Neil stuck in the Outback)

Men At Work were very successful – even more in the USA than the UK. This song was used to background a whole episode of Scrubs with the lead singer walking next to JD for the entire episode. It is an unusual song as the chorus is not really distinct musically from the verses.

Overkill

So many people have come and gone

My first summer scout camp turned out to be the best one. I didn’t think that it would be at the time as it seemed pretty primitive, but I did not know primitive at the time, but I would find out. The following year would be Gradbach (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/10/09/young-blokes-sitting-on-the-benches/ ) and the year after that Lochearnhead, both their own unique forms of hell.

The camp was at Herringfleet in the Norfolk Broads. We had to dig our own toilets and put up our own tents, which were over 60 years old. They did not have integrated groundsheets and were prone to leaking, luckily this camp was dry.

(Herringfleet – not our time there)

We canoed on Fritton Decoy and went on hikes. Hiking in Norfolk is good because it is flat. We slept in patrols with a leader and a deputy. The main after dark entertainment was pornography that made its way around the camp. I was a too young to be interested and most of it was found and confiscated by the Scout Leaders.

(Fritton Decoy)

The hikes were easy compared to future years – through picturesque places like St Olaves with the opportunity to spend money outside the camp tuck shop (providore) though I took the chance to buy comics. There was far less emphasis on hydration in those days so we had to spend money on soft drinks. We all hated the rule that we had to wear short trousers. It had only been a couple of years since we graduated to long trousers at school and it felt like a step down. I learnt on other camps that it was a lot easier to dry wet legs than wet trousers.

(St. Olaves)

Each patrol spent one day a week running the camp and being responsible for assisting with the evening meal. This was not the worst thing. There was jankers – when you got caught doing something wrong and were immediately punished. This seemed to happen a lot when toilets needed filling in or other horrible tasks needed doing.

Then there was the Black Pot. Infractions of rules earned Black Pot points. It was 5 points for having your hands in your pockets and more for other rule breaking. The person with most points would have to clean the dirtiest of the huge pots that had been over a fire for the whole week. The second place the second worst and so on. These pots were huge, not ordinary saucepans – even bigger than buckets. They were caked with a thick layer of soot, dirt and grease.

Some of the boys were cocky and did not care about being caught, like Mike Meitener and Phil Sizer. Things changed on the last morning when they had to clean the pots and Meitener was in tears. I had no sympathy as he was a nasty bully, even though it meant we had one man less to strike our tent.

We had one day out, the only camp where this happened. We were dropped off and had to be back in Oulton Broad at a certain time. Simon Annis and I went to Great Yarmouth on the bus where I got some Perry Rhodan books (that Simon Mortimer criticised when he saw them later – he thought they were childish).

We ate a chip supper by Oulton Broads with the boats racing about.

(Oulton Broad)

For all its pain I made a couple of friends in the scouts. Simon Annis and I did a lot together. Mike Meitener nicknamed him foreskin as he had a skinhead haircut, though he was careful not to taunt Simon too much as he was a big guy. Paul Hammond was my best mate in scouts. He went to the other middle school in Royston, so I had never met him before. We would walk home and pool our money for chips if we did not have enough on our own. When we went to upper school, we were in the same French group in year 10 which was brilliant.

It is damn hard to track down people with common names, so I have no idea where Hammy ended up. He was a damn good mate.

Another track showing my weakness for American soft rock, though these days overshadowed by Journey’s

More Than A Feeling

Well, he tries to keep his talkin’ to a minimum

A good commentator can add so much to sport. A bad one can destroy the experience. When I was at university all the football commentators felt the urge to talk all the time and if there had been an option to mute the commentary we would have done.

My favourite commentator was Richie Benaud. A successful captain of Australia he had started the transition to media world before he retired. He really appreciated that on TV (as opposed to radio) you only needed to speak to add value. As he got older he cut back on his commitments giving up his work outside Australia first. He sadly passed away in 2015 – a giant of the game and the media.

(Richie Benaud)

I never thought that cricket would have a commentator as good. That may be the case, but Michael Holding comes very close. I would never have guessed that the demon fast bowler who could extract menace from the dullest of pitches (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/09/26/im-so-tired-of-trying/ ) would turn out to be such an erudite voice and a nice person. His gentle Jamaican accent, like Richie’s Australian one, adds variety to the presentation on Sky. As he lives in the UK I hope we have his contribution for many years to come.

The voice of tennis was Dan Maskell. He was posh, but tennis is posh in the UK. Like Benaud and Holding he knew when not to talk. It is a shame that he passed away before he was able to commentate on the last fifteen years or so of men’s tennis with the epic battles between Federer, Nadal and Djokovic. The question of who are the greatest tennis players ever is complicated by tennis only going open in 1968.

(Tennis went “open” in 1968, before that the circuit was amateur and the best players would go pro and not be able to compete at the majors). Things are also skewed as the Australian Open was not perceived in the same way as the other slams until the mid-1980s. There are winners before that who are totally forgotten.

(Dan Maskell)

No one thought that anyone would surpass Pete Sampras’ total of 14 Grand Slams when he retired. British perception is skewed as exceptionalism means that we count Wimbledon titles as meaning more than other slams (The French and US Opens are viewed as the most prestigious in their own countries). Sampras won 7 times at Wimbledon, 5 times in the USA and twice in Australia. Bjorn Borg managed to win Wimbledon 5 times and the French 6 – three times in the same years, which is amazing as they are the most different of surfaces.

It is hard to get past the three titans of the 21^st century. Rafael Nadal has won 13 French titles, 4 US, 2 Wimbledons and one Australian. Undoubtedly the best clay court player in history. Djokovic is closing in fast with 8 Australians, 5 Wimbledons, 3 US and one French. Both he and Federer have just one success in France due to Nadal, Federer also has 8 Wimbledons, 6 Australians and 5 US, making his record the most balanced.

Maybe the best ever was Rod Laver – he won all the slams in 1 year in 1961 and went pro. As soon as tennis went open he did it again. A record no one else can boast. I have not seen him play so the best I have seen – Federer, not just for the titles but the beautiful way he plays.

For the women I think that it is clearer cut. In Britain Martina Navratilova is remembered as a nine-time Wimbledon champion and that Chris Evert never won Wimbledon after Martina hit her peak. Yet they both won the same number of Grand Slams – Evert had two Wimbledons, Marina two French.

Steffi Graf beats them both and her all-round record is better – 4 in Australia, 5 US, 6 French and 7 Wimbledons. Whether she would have won so many if Monica Seles had not been stabbed on court is always open to question, probably not as many French titles, though she had to deal with Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario.

Then there is Serena Williams – seven each at Wimbledon and Australia, six US and three French. Twenty-three open Grand Slams and without her own sister would have won three more. She is denigrated for bringing more power to the women’s game – but that is continuing what Martina Navratilova started.

Whilst it is open to question with the men I think Serena Williams is undoubtedly the greatest women’s tennis player ever.

Michael introduced me to this artist and album. This song was never a success despite repeated release (and support from DJs – presumably due to its eulogising of their job). Listen to Caught In the Act of Being Ourselves – stunning album.

Rex Bob Lowenstein

You cry out in your sleep

After Virgin lost the licence to print Doctor Who novels (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/11/01/lets-all-meet-up-in-the-year-2000/ ) they had enough characters and concepts that they had created to continue the series. The lead character was the popular companion Benny Summerfield. She had to be split up from her husband Jason Kane (there are no happy ever afters in continuing fiction – just look at soap operas), so that there was some reason for her not to continue living a happy domesticated life.

Virgin could use any of the characters and concepts that they created and any Who concepts they could pay creators for (for instance an Ogron is in Mean Streets).

My problem with them was that were being published at the same time as the BBC’s EDAs (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/11/27/war-in-heaven/ ) and I don’t think that the pool of authors was big enough to provide 22 books for the BBC and 12 for Virgin one year – at least not good ones.

(Benny at the gates of Babylon)

I gave them up twice, not on quality grounds, but three of these books a month? I want to read other stuff as well as Doctor Who fiction.

There were 23 of them altogether and only a couple were terrible (Chris Bulis’ Tempest and Terrance Dicks’ Mean Streets), oh three actually (Deadfall by Gary Russell).

There were three that I think hold their own with any Who stories ever published. Kate Orman’s Walking to Babylon which has a glimpse of a Time War between the Watchmakers (Time Lords with serial numbers filed off) and the People – this is meant to have annoyed Lawrence Miles so much that it inspired him to do a better Time War – the War in Heaven. Kate Orman is a writer who is so good that it is obscene that she has not been published in the mainstream far more.

It is also just as bad that Simon Bucher-Jones is not at the top of the bestseller lists. Ghost Devices would be favourite book by many authors – Simon has done so many great books that it isn’t, but this is one that you should definitely read.

Lawrence Miles had been highly influential in the BBC books and when Virgin decided to shake up the status quo with a major conflict in their line his book Dead Romance was the outstanding one. It was the third in the final arc of the run and does not even have Benny in it and it appears to tie in with the BBC books (in the end a different ending was written explicitly denying this possibility – but for fans this was a shame). This book has a full-on invasion of Earth by the Watchmakers and references to events in the War In Heaven. It effectively counts as the first novel of the Faction Paradox range.

The New Adventures finally ended and Benny went to Big Finish – there are some good books from them and a few good audio Benny stories but not as good as this range overall.

In my dream world the first year of the BBC novels would have run something like this:

Vampire Science (EDA)
Oh No It Isn’t! (BNA)
Dragons’ Wrath (BNA)
Genocide (EDA)
Alien Bodies (EDA)
Beyond the Sun (BNA)
Ship of Fools (BNA)
Down (BNA)
Ghost Devices (BNA)
Walking to Babylon (BNA)
The Sword of Forever (BNA)

Joy Division were a short-lived New Wave group whose career was cut to a brutal halt by their lead singer’s, Ian Curtis, suicide. That added extra impact to this song. When Paul Young wanted to release a cover version there was an outcry against it and Factory records re-released this to spoil it. The rest of the group went on to form New Order.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

When you’re down on your luck

Human being’s crave order. Patterns are seen when they are not there. The credulous visit psychics (watch an expose); pick out the bits in horoscopes that they agree with and ignore what they do not and, remember dreams that come true and forget the vast majority that do not. This is confirmation bias – seeing what you want to see. People crave certainty in the world – yet there is no way to predict the future in that kind of details (Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series is wonderful on this – the hero predicts the broad future, but it is upset by one rogue element).

Conspiracy theories are an attempt to impose a pattern on a chaotic world. The people believing them wanting there to be a reason for things and it is better to live in a world where shadowy forces control our destiny for opaque reasons rather than in a chaotic world where random things just happen.

It was not the first conspiracy, but the Kennedy assassination has a lot to answer for. The Warren Commission patently did not do a good job and ignored testimony that did not suit the. As to the magic bullet theory that caused multiple wounds it really is just not possible, though more recent analysis make it slightly less unlikely.

I think that it is highly unlikely that Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy. I am not sure that there was the kind of massive conspiracy that some people speculate on, including the Mafia, the military, the CIA, Cuba or even the whole military/ industrial complex. It may have just been another gunman or two. The pressure for the police and the establishment to find the culprit was immense, so why not take a patsy?

It makes it easier to raise issues about other events. It is still widely believed across the Arab world that the Queen and Prince Phillip arranged for the assassination of Princess Diana because she was going to have a baby with Dodi Fayed, thus giving the future King of England a Muslim half sibling. Partly this is cultural as people abroad genuinely think that the British monarchy enjoys absolute power and is in charge of everything. For other people it was the loss of an adored, beautiful woman who people pegged their lives to (I am not one of them and was annoyed at the blanket coverage and the shutdown of everything for the funeral).

In the end Diana would have been alive I she had had her seatbelt on. Yes, the paparazzi chased after the car, but Diana courted celebrity, even after her supposed retirement from public life, and that celebrity is a deal with the devil – you get coverage but not privacy. Again – if she had chosen to wear the belt she would have survived – pretty bad plot that relied on her failing to do that.

It remains a live issue due to irresponsible behaviour from the media – especially the Daily Express, and the publicity afforded Dodi Fayed’s father. A man whose background is murky to say the least – read Tom Bower’s excellent book on Mohammed Fayed to find out more.

The internet has sped and widened the scope of conspiracy theories. The idea that 5G towers cause Covid-19 is only possible if you are scientifically illiterate and gullible in the extreme. The same rubbish was said about 3g and 4g. Modern life is full of transmissions but they do not cause viruses.

The most lunatic theory now is Qanon. A conspiracy theory that started as an allegation that Democrats, especially Hilary Clinton, were torturing, killing and eating children in the basement of a pizzeria. Even though it did not have a basement (the theory was that if you replace the word pizza with child in e mails then it shows people are eating children, or maybe it is just about pizza as it is a pizzeria?). Donald Trump is supposedly on a secret mission to save the children and expose this evil (not a mission to play golf, enrich himself and give work to his kids, which is what he has been doing). This has grown to encompass 5G, anti-Semitism and rafts of other madness. It has even spread abroad – though with less emphasis on Donald Trump being a saviour – I mean some things are too insane for the tin hat brigade outside the USA.

What a pile of garbage. The illiberal part of me wants to say anyone who believes it is too dumb to be allowed to vote.

There is more information on Kennedy’s assassination to come. But Diana died in an accident, 5G is not dangerous and Qanon is garbage.

Ultimately the world is a chaotic place where shit happens. Live with it. Just remember how bad governments are at covering things up. It is a cock up not a conspiracy – understand that and you will not go far wrong.

Thin Lizzy were an Irish rock band with a mixed-race lead singer – Phil Lynott. He lived the rock star life and died young – amazingly there is no theory that he is still alive like there are for Elvis Presley or Jim Morrison. I first heard them as Mike had a couple of their singles, later at university I heard The Black Rose album – a good place to start.

Hollywood (Down on Your Luck)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcVS4Kpdn0E

Playlist:

Whisky in the Jar
Showdown
Rosalie
Wild One
Ballad of a Hard Man
Jailbreak
The Boys are Back in Town
Emerald
Soldier of Fortune
Toughest Street in Town
Sarah
Got To Give it Up
Roisin Dubh – A Rock Legend
Chinatown
Killer on the Loose
Renegade
Hollywood (Down on Your Luck)
Thunder and Lightning
Cold Sweat
The Sun Goes Down

Oh, the movie never ends

This is undoubtedly the Platinum Age of television. The arrival of streaming services and premium channels like HBO has altered the landscape of television. When I was a teenager I would search through the Radio Times (a TV listing magazine that covered two channels) for the few things worth watching. Now the issue is that there is so much good stuff you not only have to track it down on the channels and services, but know what is there to look for. Sure, Netflix has an algorithm that points you to things it thinks that you will like, but the trouble with that is that you get stuck in a loop.

If you are willing to put in the time – reading reviews, talking to like-minded friends or colleagues, then there is more amazing television out there than at any other time in history.

That is not to say the BBC do not still produce top quality drama. The Honourable Woman, starring Hollywood A lister Maggie Gyllenhaal, was a tour de force taking in the situation in the Middle East.

(Right at the front Maggie Gyllenhaal)

It is the USA that has seen the benefits of the streaming service’s money and the premium cable channels that came into being, like HBO and Showtime. Orange is the New Black is based on a true story, but rather than focus on Piper, who wrote the book, it covers a highly diverse group of women (including a trans character before it become a high-profile point in drama) in the jail. It explores their back stories and there aims for when they leave.

The death of the character Poussey, a favourite with fans, sparked off protests against the US prison system. The show highlighted how private jails are run for profit not rehabilitation. The last season had the heart-rending moment when a woman was incorrectly sent for deportation, then her lover visited her and he was deported, even though she managed to prove she was in the USA legitimately. Jenji Kohan created this and the comedy series, Weeds, that is 15 years of A grade output.

(Back: Nicky, Lorna, Daya, Red, Piper, Cindy, Suzanne; front: Taystee)

When else in TV history would there have been a 53-episode sitcom on moral philosophy? The Good Place is hilarious, at the same time as being educational and enlightening. Kristen Bell is wonderful; Ted Danson is a s good as he ever was and D’Arcy Carden is truly outstanding playing multiple roles in the show as the AIs that run the afterlife (I love Disco Janet). This is what the current TV world does – it gives vision a chance – rather a corporate, safe program, creators can make something they have a passion for.

(Back: Jason, Good Janet; Front: Michael, Eleanor, Chidi and Tahani)

The other change that has led to this high point in TV history is the increased acceptance of foreign, subtitled TV. I work on the principle that no one would bother subtitling rubbish so the likelihood is that it will be good. It started in the UK with the Nordic Noir TV series like The Killing and The Bridge. The concept of the latter is that a body is found at exactly the mid-point of the Oresund Bridge that links Sweden and Denmark. A detective from each side must work to solve it. One of them is saga Noren, a character who is very definitely on the spectrum and has issues with relating to people and understanding society’s mores. Saga is treated sympathetically and is the star of show, showing growth and development amid the torture and bloodshed. There are still great examples of the genre being made – like 2020’s The Valhalla Murders.

(Saga Noren with typical honesty)

Even better is the Danish series Borgen. Borgen is the name of the government buildings in Denmark and this is in the vein of The West Wing, but even better. Sidse Babett Knudsen and Birgitte Hjort Sorensen starred and are both appearing internationally now.

(Birgitte and Katrine)

Knudsen plays centrist politician Birgitte Nyborg and has to deal with the rising nationalist party and hold a coalition together. Sorensen plays reporter Katrine Fonsmark who becomes linked to the ruling party. Twenty brilliant episodes.

Babylon Berlin another series set in the Jazz Age. The most expensive German series ever made is a trail through the corruption and deprivation of the Weimar Republic. Based on a series of books Gereon Rath is a detective still suffering the aftereffects of World War One and Charlotte Ritter is an occasional prostitute who wants to be a detective.

(Gereon and Charlotte)

My Brilliant Friend is an Italian series based on Elena Ferrante’s novel series. It is about two young women brought up in the slums of Naples accessing different life chances. One of them has no access to education beyond primary level and has to make her way in the world with an abusive husband, the other goes to university.

(Lila and Lenu in their teen years)

Crash Landing On You is a Korean series that is an absolute revelation. At its core it is a love story between a South Korean businesswoman and a North Korean army officer. Yet it is not that simple – it is a thriller, a political drama, a family saga, a comedy of culture clashes and an action series. The episodes are ninety minutes or longer, yet they are never boring. The story twists and turns and is never predictable. There are barely any bad people in it (well two), others seem to be bad but once you get to know them they are all people with their own desires and personalities.

The storytelling is magnificent, with some parts told in a non-linear fashion, where it is needed, not just as a flashy technique to impress us. It really is the most magnificent program that I saw in 2020.

(Yoon Se-n and Ri Jeong Hyeok)

The downside is that programs which twenty years ago would have been acclaimed as outstanding now fade into the crowd. The Good Wife is at least as good as LA Law in the 90s, if not better. The latter was acclaimed as outstanding, the former is just a good network show. That said Archie Panjabi as Kalinda Sharma turns in a performance that would grace any show.

(L-R Grace Florrick, Jackie Florrick, Zack Florrick, Eli Gold, Peter Florrick, Alicia Florrick, Diane Lockhart, Will Gardener, Cary Agos and Kalinda Sharma)

There are many other shows that I have given up watching that in the past I would been an avid fan of – Twelve Monkeys, Da Vinci’s Demons, Cloak and Dagger, Altered Carbon, The Last Kingdom, Vikings or Black Lightning.

This is a song that I have loved for many years – popularised by Glee (how to make a whole TV series out of an idea that Joss Whedon used for one episode). Stick to the original by Journey.

Don’t Stop Believing

You’ll be alright tonight

2012 on tour in India. After a morning in Khajuraho we got a flight to Varanasi (formerly known as Benares in Colonial days). The airport in Khajuraho only had about five flights a day, but the security made us think it was a major hub. My suitcase was now very overweight due to souvenir purchases and I was fined (I was not the only one in our party to be penalised).

It was one of the days when lunch was not provided. The only shop in the airport had out of date food – even the bottled water tasted brackish.

When we got to the hotel in Varanasi we had just twenty minutes before going out to see the Ganges at sunset. I took my own case up to my room as it always took ages to get them to the rooms if the porters did it – I’m glad I did others did not get their luggage before going out. It was not popular with the staff who missed out on some tips.

(Dad in a bicycle taxi)

The journey to the Ghats by the river was manic. Indian road traffic control is different from the West, but it feels even more different in a bicycle taxi than it does in a coach. At one intersection the snarl up was so bad they had to pass bicycles out from the middle. Always keep your hands inside in a bicycle taxi – the drivers and cyclists are incredibly good at judging distance, but better safe than sorry.

Our tour guide, Lianne, said that it was incredibly important that we stick together as the river front is a maze of alleyways and shops. Good advice as we were pretty discombobulated by the chaos of the day and in a new city. We got on a boat and launched blooms onto the holy river while we watched bodies being burnt (according to Hinduism dying and being burnt in Varanasi leads directly to Nirvana).

(On the Ganges as the sun goes down – me offering polos to people as no one has eaten for 8 hours – ignore the times on the pictures, that is the UK time)

There was a performance on the river side by Hindu holy men – but it is strictly for the tourists.

Afterwards Lianne and a couple of stragglers got separated (despite her always saying to stick together). So, at 8pm in a strange town and with our with local guide, DJ, not knowing what the other people looked like. He parked the rest of the group in an alley and asked me to go with him to find them. The two of us ran through the streets together. I was desperately trying to keep up as I would have been totally lost if I could not see him – I did not even know the name of the hotel.

(After the show)

We found the lost group and Lianne treated it as our fault, despite there being four in the lost group and 28 in our group (and them getting separated as they stopped to clean shit off their shoes). She really did not like DJ for some reason and told us he only deserved a small tip.

It was 9pm before we got back to the hotel to eat and unpack.

Sunrise – sunset, it was all the same. Afterwards we had a coach tour of the city before going back for breakfast. Most people fell asleep on the coach.

In the afternoon we went to see where Skinny Buddha lived (as opposed to the far well-known cuddly one), far more time was spent at a silk shop as Lianne wanted the commission.

The following day was a free morning in Varanasi. Dad and I went out to find the magic stomach tablets that the rep had given us (containing morphine) in a tuk tuk. As it was Diwali this was easier said than done. The Ganges was very different without tourists there – far more peaceful, with the locals washing in the holy water (which, if you were not used to it, would put you in hospital). We were about to give up when I saw a tiny roadside chemist. He was shocked that we wanted his whole stock.

Varanasi was a great place, I just wish the timetable had been more spread out as the first 18 hours were mad. I even managed to get a wonderful new rucksack to replace my dying one (typical Sports Direct, it was new when we left the UK) from a shop next to the hotel. That one is still going strong eight years later.

Sister Christian

First, they take your pride

Pete Wylie was part of the Crucial Three with Ian McCulloch (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/06/18/cause-man-must-be-his-own-saviour/ ) and Julian Cope (https://fivemilesout.home.blog/2020/09/18/exploding-out-of-a-tunnel/ ) and was the last to succeed. John Peel and David Jenson fought for this to be a hit, they just kept playing in the evening until it finally made the charts and got daytime airplay.

There was a recession in the early 1980s that affected heavy industries incredibly badly and consequently those areas of the country that relied on them. The post-war consensus had involved both parties nationalising failing industries rather than modernise. The Thatcher government tore up this consensus and not only allowed industries to fail it also shut down nationalised industries that were a drain on public finances.

The net effect of this after years of being protected was industries that could not compete on the world stage, which meant that the communities built around them were devastated – either directly in work or in support services. Steel, coal, docks, car-making and so on. These industries were concentrated in the Midlands, Wales, Scotland and the North, not the Tory heartlands by any means.

There was nothing else for these people (mainly men) to do. There was no other business in those areas and a lot of these people had left school with no qualifications, expecting a lifetime’s employment in manual industry. The headlines on the news were unemployment figures as more and more people were left without work. A number of times the government way of calculating unemployment figures was changed – always resulting in a lower total.

The only reason that the UK could afford the massive unemployment benefits is that North Sea Oil revenues had come on stream. Rather than use these revenues to set up Sovereign Wealth Funds, like Norway, the UK just spent to leave this people out of work.

I am not saying that uneconomic and obsolete industries should have been supported ad infinitum. What was needed was massive training programs to give people new skills so they could get work and the money being used to invest in start-ups and attracting businesses to these areas. In the long run this would have been cheaper than paying benefits for years and years. That does not even take into account the cost of a generation of young people growing up in poverty with limited life chances.

If you want to see a drama about this Alan Bleasdale’s The Boys From the Blackstuff is a heart breaking series. Following a play about a group of Liverpudlian workers called The Blackstuff each episode focused on one of the characters. The most well remembered was Yosser Hughes who’s catchphrase, “Gissa job” became part of the fabric of the time. Chrissie (Michael Angelis, up until then better known as Our Lucien in The Liver Birds) whose family is sanctioned for him working cash in hand. He returns home hungry and toasts the last two slices of mouldy bread. His wife (played by a young Julie Walters) is furious as that was the only food for the children’s breakfast.

(The boys)

This song sums up that despair and the contempt that these people were treated with. This was Thatcher, so revered by the Tory party today – yet she abandoned millions to the scrapheap. We must not allow the same thing to happen in 2021.

The Story of the Blues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pr-9yP4WlBY